I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
