Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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