I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
