Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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