just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize