why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think people are normalizing furries
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
