i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize