Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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