I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
