While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
