I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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