are you still at the devil's house?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
