Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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