Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
