I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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