Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
