My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
