Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
