I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
