Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just found puke in my bra..
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
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Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
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I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
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