And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
