What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
