But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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