she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm passing your future prison.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize