We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We need to rekindle our bromance
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
