Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
