i think i have two assholes
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I can't trust your balls anymore.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
