I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In other news, I just burned my penis
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
