kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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