please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he thought i was a dude.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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