She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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