I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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