Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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