i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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