woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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