Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
