evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Boobs speak an international language.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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