How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
