I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
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I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
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If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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