Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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