Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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