Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
