We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid is not a monday night drug
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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