Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
