I accidentally had phone sex last night
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
