butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
