3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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