I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
