dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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