peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
