i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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