Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Plan B is the new Plan A
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize