And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You pole danced in your parka.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
