i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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