No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize